The Vig

Full-on Blazermania is almost back. It’s like that movie Backdraft where the fire is just waiting for that gush of oxygen to make it explode.

Or words to that effect.

Last night’s game was #1 of my 20-game package for the season. The way the thing works, I paid $100 for 20-games in the 300-level. The seats are never in the same place twice and I don’t get any sort of season-ticket holder privileges. But I am in the building. So that counts for something, right?

Last night I sat parallel to the retired jersey numbers in the back of section 317.

Twardzik will always be my all-time favorite Blazer and when I figure out how to order the 4XL Mitchell and Ness special, I’ll be displaying my love at every game. In the meantime, I’ll just be content to start a grassroots effort to bring him back to Portland to replace Anotonio Harvey as the radio color man. Brutal does not even come close to describing Harvey’s style on the air. He’s frequently unprepared and rarely offers insight beyond gibberish. And as long as we’re on Blazer broadcasters, it’s only because no one in the local media has Comcast that there’s been no mention of how bad the Blazer TV production is. Sideline reporter Rebecca Haarlow is well on the way toward becoming a YouTube sensation to rival Miss South Carolina (she is that bad) and Michael Holton isn’t much better in the studio.

I haven’t spent much time up in the 300-level in the last several years. It’s always closed for Winter Hawks games and the Blazer games I’ve seen have been so sparsely attended that lower level seats were practically being given away. The folks at Global Spectrum did a fantastic job upgrading the luxury areas the season before last. And this season they’ve gone even further in revamping the main concourse. They’ve added a couple of beer gardens and completely redone the concessions. It looks really good. The 300 level, though, still has some work ahead of it. What, for example, is this display still doing up there?

‘Sheed’s been gone since 2004, kids. Brian Grant, who’s palm print is to the right of ‘Sheed, left in 2000. That’s 7 seasons ago. Yet the display is still up there. We’re on our second GM since 2000. Let’s get this taken care of, a’ight?

Some other thoughts, in no particular order:

Darius Miles will play for the Blazers this season. You can take that to the bank. Don’t believe me? Read this. If they’re smart, they’ll play him on the road to start. Far away from the several hundred who booed when he was on the screen going through his Eddie Murphy “Trading Places” bit. “GI Joe with the kung-fu grip.” The perfect time to bring him in would be on the East Coast road trip starting January 13 in Toronto. It would get him showcased in front of some Eastern Conference GMs ahead of the trade deadline and who knows, he may not come back. That would be the best case scenario. But I’m guessing they’ll put him in to get us used to having him around when they get back home on January 25th.

The question then becomes who’s minutes does Miles take? Webster’s? Jones’? Outlaw’s? Who?

Wally Szcerbiak is still in the league? Now that I look at it, he was part of the Ray Allen deal. It all makes sense now. The point is that guy can fill it up. Wow.

Did you know James Jones leads the league in 3-point percentage?

Sergio Rodriguez is Jason Williams. He’s never met a shot he didn’t like. He even had me yelling at him in the fourth quarter. “Shoot it! You know you want to!” No wonder Nate doesn’t want him out there. The team needs a distributor at the point, not a shooter. And not a poor decision maker. I can live with turnovers, but poor shot selection will make a man tear his hair out.

Why does Brian Wheeler never yell Boom Shaka Laka when Przybilla dunks? Employee #10 had a much more spectacular dunk in the first quarter than the one Roy threw down in the second. Yet Roy gets the extra dap. Why is that?

BeBe Winans has got some pipes. Normally I’m not a fan of overwrought national anthems, but I make an exception for Mr. Winans. Maybe he can come fill in for Katie Harman at the Winter Hawks game next Monday.

Greg Oden is worth his weight in gold. His “Day Before Christmas” bit was pure comedy genius. And whoever figured out to rhyme Charles Barkley McLovin with microwave oven deserves an extra holiday bonus.

It was fantastic to see Paul Allen animated. An engaged Allen is a good thing.

Is Christmas In Hollis considered old school? I don’t know how to feel about that.

Casey Holdahl looks freaking weird in a coat and tie. I wondered walking into the arena who got the better gig. Marentette or Holdahl. I’m guessing Marentette hasn’t had to wear a tie in a while. I’ll give the edge to him. But it’s close.

So that’s that. I think my next game is Sunday versus the Sixers. I gave away Friday’s tickets as a Christmas gift. Hopefully the Blazers will be working toward #13 when I see them next. Maybe they can bring in Twardzik to celebrate. Wouldn’t that be nice?

It’s been a lot of fun having the soccer defenders over for the weekend. My hit meter has been going through the roof. So I’d like to thank you all for participating. A few of you got whacked for a) language and b) name-calling. But overall, I think it was a good thing. I’m still waiting for someone to explain to me what Columbus and Salt Lake City have gained with their MLS franchises that Portland is missing. Each has one “major league” franchise in town besides their coveted MLS franchise. What benefits have they received that Portland is missing out on? Please to explain.

On to matters of greater import:

Winter Hawks: I guessed attendance Saturday night would be sub-5,000. Looks like I missed. 5,268 is still pretty abysmal especially considering it was a Saturday night against Seattle. The Beavers had a bye and the Ducks were out of town. And it was Mascot Night. I keep waiting for the marketing effort to commence. Guess I’ll keep waiting. One last off-ice gripe. Why were none of the much ballyhooed flat screen TVs over near the food court tuned to the Ducks game or the ALCS? They instead featured the in-house video between periods. I had to get updates from my PDA. That ain’t no fun.

On the ice things continue to improve. Mucha was spectacular for about 55 minutes on Saturday night. Then the fight, which Dylan correctly figured out was premeditated, put the cap on a bad third period. The team didn’t look near as discombobulated as they have in the last few weeks. As I said, there’s improvement. I do wish though that we could clone about five more Luke Walkers and a few more Radim Valchars would be nice as well.

Oregon Ducks: They’re #5 in every poll this week. There are few things more annoying than a Duck with an inflated self worth. Starting this Saturday, they get USC and Arizona State back-to-back. I realize it’s at home, but still. If they get through that gauntlet untouched, then I’ll be impressed. Rolling up 108 points in two weeks against I-AA opponents doesn’t do a lot to get me excited. That said, where will Chip Kelly be coaching next year?

Changes On The Fan: I got it sort of close. I understand the thinking behind adding the fourth hour of Cowherd but I still don’t like it. It’s just my personal reference. Messing with what is essentially a West Coast show to add a fourth hour of East Coast programming doesn’t sit well with me. That, and I’ll take Rome over Cowherd any day of the week. I know I’m clearly in the minority with that opinion. So the majority rules. I also suspect ESPN required adding the fourth hour of Cowherd as a concession for whacking Screamin’ A. As for Rome, he left The Fan once before, although under much different circumstances, and I bet he’ll look to jump again.  Reading between the lines of Glasgow’s announcement and hearing him on the radio Friday afternoon, I’m guessing it’s already in the works.  I still believe KXL would be a fantastic spot for him.

Man City: They’re still undefeated at home and still solidly in the top-four in the table. Next Saturday’s match at Stamford Bridge will either propel them into permanent contention or draw them back into the field. Chelsea are 4-1-1 since the Mourinho ugliness and they need these points to claw back into contention. With so much on the line, this match had better be on Fox Soccer Channel.

UFC: I didn’t get to see any of the card this weekend. The biggest news didn’t happen in the ring anyway. The biggest news of the weekend was the signing of Brock Lesnar. Is it a gimmick? Yes. An overreaction to the Couture mess? Yes. But do not underestimate Lesnar. Aside from being a monster, he’s a diligent worker. Smart. I certainly won’t be betting against him.

Southern Oregon University:  Do they seriously only have three home games? How in the heck did that happen?

Arizona Cardinals:  I’ve found a bar I kind of like up on Highway 99 that has the NFL Sunday Ticket.  I wandered in this morning to find I had the place to myself.  Before I sat down, the bartender had a Diet Coke in my hand and the Cardinals game on the big screen.  Try getting that kind of service at Big Al’s or Players.  Warner was back and playing with some sort of Barry Bonds thing on his left elbow.  Through three quarters it didn’t help.  The Cards couldn’t get out of their own way.  Penalties killed them and Warner threw two picks that had me screaming.  Add to that two absolutely asinine delay-of-game penalties (one immediately followed a TV time-out between the third and fourth quarters…there’s NO excuse for that) and it’s a wonder the team managed to keep it close.  That task was left to the defense who allowed just 160 total yards on the day.  The Cards got it to 21-19 (did I mention the blocked extra-point?) and missed the two-point conversion.  I left the bar, The Icehouse, if you’re curious, immediately afterward.  It wasn’t until I was nearly to the Interstate Bridge before I found out we’d recovered the onside kick and were driving.  Holy crap!  I got home and turned the TV on just in time to see the winning field goal sail wide left.  Bah!  I did, however, get a small amount of satisfaction from screwing up Isaac Ropp’s “lead pipe lock of the week” which was Washington -8.  The Cards have a bye coming up next week and then a cream puff schedule the rest of the way.  That said, I’m not betting on anything over 7-9.

It seems Screamin’ Stephen A Smith’s days on Portland radio are numbered.  At least that’s what I’m taking from the The Fan’s “big voice” guy’s cryptic announcements this week that the new line-up is coming soon.  It will be interesting to see what the new line-up looks like.

I’ve no inside information, but it would seem they’re gonna have to work something out with ESPN since the Worldwide Leader holds much sway with their radio affiliates.  Without ESPN’s overnight programming, for example, The Fan would either have to go off the air, air a ton of infomercials, or go find Scott Ferrall.  The folks in Bristol have compromised with their West Coast affiliates by airing a West Coast-only hour of the Colin Cowherd Show so we can get a full three hours of his arrogant charm prior to Los Angeles’ Jim Rome.  Those days could be coming to an end.

I don’t see ESPN letting 1080 off the Stephen A. hook without some sort of compromise.  Personally I’d like to see them go live during the noon-hour with a show hosted by Gavin Dawson which would focus on the Blazers, the NBA, and college hoops.  If you’ve spent any time listening to Dawson, I think you’ll agree he’s got a ton of basketball knowledge and that sort of show would go over well.  At least that’s what I think.  Follow the Dawson show with two-hours of ESPN’s SportsBash, then slide straight into the afternoon drive show.

The only problem with this scenario is it would eliminate the Tirico show and I don’t think ESPN will go for that.  Tirico will stay on the air here.  So what happens if ESPN big foots 1080 and forces them to play Tirico live?  Would they perhaps run four hours of Cowherd, followed by Tirico from 10-noon, followed by Rome on tape-delay?  I can’t see thatgoing over very well.  Personally I would be disappointed if that was the direction they went.  Dumping a popular West Coast show in favor of six hours of East Coast programming just isn’t cool.  I like my Dawson plan.

Worst case scenario…if Rome does end up the odd man out, would he seek a deal somewhere else?  KXL is starting to put together quite a little stable of sports guys.  Maybe move Lars to a noon-to-3 deal and slide Rome in live from 9-noon.  Crazier things have happened.

The Fan’s website says the new line-up starts on Monday.  I guess we’ll have to see what happens.