The Vig

*When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Phil Gervais.
*Phil Gervais does not sleep. He waits.
*When Phil Gervais does a push-up, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
*Phil Gervais’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
*Phil Gervais has never blinked in his entire [...]

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