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into you rather than watch the game.  Maybe they’re out running errands.  Maybe they’re driving home from work.  Maybe they’re at work.  Whatever it is they’re doing, they’re listening to you because they can’t watch the game on TV.  No one, and I mean no one, is turning down the TV to hear Dick Enberg and Dennis “Crown Their Asses” Green call a game.

Do the guys back in the truck, or anywhere for that matter, have any access to Dick Enberg’s headset?  Could you please use that headset to remind Dick to give me down and distance maybe every two or three plays instead of every two or three possessions?  The score every minute or so would be nice too.  Twice during the first half last night he went over five minutes between score updates.  I know.  I timed him on my watch.  On radio, five minutes is an eternity.  At one point, rather than give me any actual game information, he gave me some story about how Tony Romo grew up idolizing Brett Favre.  The thing is, neither Romo nor Favre were on the field at that moment.  Aaron Rogers was quarterbacking Green Bay on a drive, but the way Enberg was going on about Romo, I honestly thought the Cowboys had the ball.  I’m still not 100% sure what the heck was going on.  This happened several times during the game.

Green wasn’t any help either.  The more he talked, the more I understood why he was such a train wreck in Arizona.  My absolute favorite part was when he mistook Jason Whitten (6′5″ 265 pound white guy) for Terrell Owens (6′3″ 215 pound black guy).

Green sucks, but last night’s debacle was all Enberg.  I get that he has some time on his hands between now and tennis season.  I understand.  And maybe he needs the Thursday night gig, but I doubt it.  Either way, Enberg belongs on TV.  That way he can blather on about whatever he wants and as long as the score is on the screen, no one has to pay attention to him.  It’s too bad Gus Johnson was busy calling the Knicks game debacle last night.  He would have been perfect.

It took me a few days to find my groove in this unexpected little vacation of mine. Now that I’ve quit panicking, it’s actually been quite refreshing. I still have one more day to go today then it’s back to work.

What have I been up to in the meantime? Glad you asked.

Oregon City Pioneers: Don’t ever ask me to explain the OSAA playoff system or how Oregon City made it into said playoffs. A 3-3 league record and 5-5 overall record is good enough for a trip to Redmond on Friday. I remember getting a day off my junior year to go to Bend. I hope the kids get the same pleasure these days. Seriously though. Is Redmond any good? Could my Pios beat them? Anyone?

Blazers: I watched an interview with David Stern on Friday night. He went on for a few seconds about how scrappy the Blazers are. It was probably a reaction to Pat Riley moaning about how easy the Spurs had it on opening night. He probably had a point. While this year’s edition is a scrappy young unit, I have a feeling we’re going to see more this than this. And as a sidenote, could the Blazers website be any more unnavigable? Bedazzle me on the court, people. Off the court, just give me information.

Man City: A nice mid-week win at Bolton to advance to the round of 8 in the Carling Cup did much to wash away the taste left by the 6:0 drubbing at the hands of Chelsea. It’s a matter of time now until Man City drops out of the top-four and thus out of the Champions League. But the UEFA Cup isn’t out of the question. They play Sunderland today. Don’t ask me why.

Winter Hawks: You can ask any team, anytime, to get up for just one game. In Portland’s case, they got up for one game against the defending WHL regular season champions in Medicine Hat. They scored 4 goals in the first period up there then went scoreless for nearly four periods in a row until Colton Sceviour’s short-handed goal at 19:05 of the second period in Lethbridge. Then they got blanked last night, but not before some sort of fracas in which two Hawks received game misconducts. Nice way to end the roadie. They’re off until next weekend when they play at Seattle and at Tri-City. I keep hoping for progress with this team. It’s just not there.

Oregon Ducks: I honestly thought/hoped Arizona State would give them fits. Man, was I wrong. The game was over quickly. Oh sure Arizona State made a valiant comeback, but they weren’t going to outscore Oregon. I guess it’s up to the Beavers to derail this thing. There is nothing worse on this planet than a Duck with an inflated sense of self-worth.

Oregon State: Right. They were going to win that game. It’s time to buckle down and take care of business against the two Washington schools. A 5-4 conference record wouldn’t be too shabby. A 6-3 record though…

Arizona Cardinals: The bartender at my new favorite Sunday morning hang-out already has the routine down. Keep feeding me Diet Pepsi and just stay out of my way. He even lets me wallow in my misery in 60″ of 1080p glory. While the rest of the bar hoots and hollers at the exploits of Brett Favre or Adrian Peterson, I sit alone in a corner and let out the occasional grunt as Kurt Warner throws another interception or the defense lets Tampa run right through them without so much as an ole. It’s become painfully obvious that the Cards have to get a pass rusher in the next draft.  The secondary gave the boys up front all day to chase down Garcia today and they just couldn’t.  Either Florida’s Derrick Harvey or Auburn’s Quentin Groves would be a welcome addition.