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I’ve always assumed it was about Mick Jagger, mostly because I thought it was double-funny that she got him to sing on the record.

The Sun newspaper postulated on Friday that she was singing about David Geffen, which is weird because, you know, Geffen is gay. The lyrics, they say, weren’t so much about love gone wrong as they were about getting screwed, so to speak, by Geffen who preferred Joni Mitchell.

Whatever. The song isn’t about David Geffen. How do I know? Because Carly told us it wasn’t six years ago.

Regis : Isnt’ it time for you to tell the world – who’s the guy you’re singing about? Is it Warren Beatty? Is it Mick Jagger? Or is it me? Tell us!Carly: If I tell it, it’s going to come out in dribs and drabs. And I’ve given out two letters already, and “A” and an “E”. But I’m going to add one to it. I’m going to add an “R”, in honor of you.

D-A-V-I-D G-E-F-F-E-N.

Do you see an “R” in there? Me neither. You know who’s name does have an “A”, an “E”, and an “R”? Well, besides Mick Jagger? And James Taylor?

Warren Beatty.

Fun fact: Beatty was famously gelded a number of years later by Madonna. The moment was captured on film during the 1990 Blond Ambition Tour, but it was left out of the final cut of Truth or Dare. The scene in question was spliced into a print of the Stones’ 1969 concert film C*cksucker Blues, which I screened at a Rick Emerson listener party after-after-show gathering in 2006. Watching Warren get emasculated as Paul McCartney and Mick Jagger worked out an early version of “Bitch” was…weird. What became of Beatty’s balls after that has been a source of mystery for a number of years. The story I heard at the after-after-party was Annette Bening had found them at a yard sale Madonna held sometime in mid-’91, as The Material Girl was getting rid of Warren’s stuff because Vanilla Ice was starting to get jealous. Who knows. It’s all Hollywood legend.

A couple years ago, Dick Ebersol, the guy who just finished ruining the Winter Olympics here in the states, paid $50,000 for the privilege of finding out who the song is really about. He would only say the name contained an “E”. I wonder if he’ll confirm the rumor. Maybe…maybe not.

Look, Simon was what…24? 25? when she wrote that tune. As talented as the 25-year-old Ms Simon was, I doubt she could come up with something this clever to just bitch about a record executive. That’s just my hunch. I’m gonna go on believing the tune is about Jagger, because it remains the most fun answer.

Listening to Dwight Jaynes on The Game yesterday, I learned Daryl Hall has been doing a really cool Internet project for over two years now.  I was a HUGE Hall and Oates fan back in the 80s.  Somewhere around here I have a ticket signed by John Oates from the show I saw back in 1989 or so.  Needless to say, Im a downloading fool this morning.

A similar project I didn’t know existed until Friday is Beck’s Record Club.  Another cool concept.  Basically Beck gets together with some friends and records a tribute album in a day.  The most recent installment involves (I heart) Wilco and Skip Spence’s Oar.

I’m sure there’s lots of other stuff out there just like this, but there are only so many hours in the day.  Meantime, I have an appointment at the library to pick up the complete Moby Grape.  Drives to work should be a little more fun for the next few weeks.

There have only been two musical moments on Saturday Night Live that made me jump out of my seat and shout an obscenity. One was Neil Young tearing through Rockin’ In The Free World in 1989, as we were watching the Berlin Wall fall.  The other was Pearl Jam’s Not for You.  To me, that’s their greatest tune.  Had I chosen to go to the show last night, I would have had to sit through 90-minutes of unbearable traffic and another two hours of lesser material before the band would have gotten to their greatest moments.  For $50?  No thanks.

Yes, that’s Taylor Hanson and James Iha.  And Bun E. Carlos.

No, you’re probably not on drugs.

This band cannot get to Portland fast enough.

Ladies and gentlemen….the S1W!

Some folks who attempted to buy Springsteen tickets this week got quite a shock.

On Monday, tickets to see Springsteen and the E Street Band went on sale at Ticketmaster, with prices topping out at around $100 face value at various venues around the country. When fans logged on to request tickets at face value, however, Ticketmaster, redirected those requests to TicketsNow, an alternate site owned by Ticketmaster where those who already have tickets can resell them for whatever the market will bear.

Ticketmaster says they were simply trying to fulfill customer requests for premium seats.  A customer, for example, would request general admission but general admission was sold-out.  So rather than stating that and giving the customer the option of choosing a less desirable seat, Ticketmaster automatically directed them to their house-owned scalper site.  Bastards.

Springsteen seemed caught off-guard by what happened as well.  He released a statement on his website.

We perceive this as a pure conflict of interest. Ticketmaster is there to ensure that we have a good, fair sale of our tickets at their face value plus normal ticketing charges. TicketsNow is supposed to be a secondary site where people who already have tickets may exchange, trade, and, unfortunately, speculate with them. We have asked this redirection from Ticketmaster to TicketsNow cease and desist immediately and Ticketmaster has agreed to do so in the future and has removed its unwanted material from their and our site.

We know the many cynical arguments some make in favor of the Ticketmaster system: There are rumors that some artists or managers participate in Ticketmaster charges–we do not. There are rumors that some artists or managers are receiving a percentage of the amount above face value at secondary outlets like TicketsNow–we do not. Some artists or managers may not perceive there to be a conflict between having the distributor of their tickets in effect “scalping” those same tickets through a secondary company like TicketsNow–we do.

The whole thing has forced Ticketmaster to alter its course.  They’ve pledged to only be slimy if the artist and venue are both cool with it.  Nice.

You can’t blame Ticketmaster for trying to soak up every last dime of revenue, I suppose.  The days of the giant rock arena acts, their bread and butter, are drawing to a close.  I can think of only a handful of artists who can mount a full-on arena tour these days and most of them are over the age of 50.  I’m thinking U2, the Stones, Paul McCartney, Jimmy Buffet, and of course Springsteen.  Billy Joel.  Bands who are important to my generation and younger will mostly be found in the smaller venues.  I can’t think of many who could come close to filling the Rose Garden.  Dave Matthews would probably come closest.  And that Radiohead the kids all seem to love.  But beyond that?  Guns N Roses played to fewer than 5,000 a few years ago.  Nine Inch Nails played to maybe six or seven thousand and slashed their ticket prices just ahead of the show to get to that.

Good for The Boss for sticking up for the fans.  It almost makes up for the Wal-Mart fiasco.

I thought the Farley interview would never be outdone. I was wrong.

If you wish to compare, I present the Chris Farley Show.

Jack failed to wish us a good weekend yesterday.  So….

Such a fine line between genius and…this.

HT: Balloon Juice

I wonder if this is what Lucky Town would have sounded like if it were recorded with the E-Street Band instead.

I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt, I guess.

The best rock-and-roll band in the land is in town tonight, ready to blow the roof off the Crystal. Co-headliners Drive-By Truckers get things going at 9, THS go on at 10:45.  You’ll find me down front, parked under keyboardist Franz Nicolay screaming for “Magazines”.

Supposedly they’ve been covering Van Halen’s “Ain’t Talkin’ ‘Bout Love” on this tour.  That should be worth $22 all by itself.