The Vig

Bean contemplates the milky elixir

I’m going to go on record now and say I have no idea what the big deal is about absinthe.  Near as I’ve ever been able to tell, its existence is an urban legend, much like Spanish Fly.  Or “real” Rolling Rock.  Its mere mention can get one of those “topper” conversations going amongst hipsters.  You know the one… Someone will say they had it at some party somewhere, and someone else will demand to know exactly what the label said and what color the drink was.  Then person douche number two will go into great detail to describe how person douche number one had the pyrite version of absinthe.

Have either of these people douches ever had the stuff?  You’ll never know.

I, however, can now definitively say I’ve had it.  I think.  At least the folks next to the Green Dragon are distilling something they’re calling absinthe, and, as you can see in the photo above, I tried it.

I should back up.  I RSVP’d earlier this week to Dieselboi’s brew crawl.  We met-up at the HUB in Southeast, where we tried the sampler as we discussed blogging and the fate of the revolution with a friend of his in town from DC.  From there we moved on to the Green Dragon, where I met my fate.

The Device (right). Image borrowed from The Mercury.

My adventure began innocently enough with a question about an apparatus sitting on the bar.  The apparatus can be seen in the accompanying picture.  Dieselboi let me know it was part of the serving ritual with the absinthe.  Apparently the pure stuff is pretty powerful, so the cut it with 2 parts ice water to 1 part absinthe.  The ice water is dispensed out of this thing, for whatever reason.

“Huh”, I said as I contemplated my raspberry lambic (I’m a sissy, I know).

It was after I finished the lambic that I decided to give the absinthe a try.

Everyone at the table became instantly curious about my new friend, as they too had encountered their share of know-it-all douchebags.  Even Dieselboi admitted he’d never actually tried it.  I asked the server if I needed a special license to taste it.  Or a sugar cube or something.  Apparently you’re supposed to pour it over sugar.  Or something.  It’s all so confusing.

After a few minutes of pre-drink hype, I took a small sip to see what happened.

Sidebar: If you don’t know, absinthe has been banned in these United States for a number of years.  It’s been called a hallucinogen, responsible for all kinds of wickedness.  You can read all about it at Wikipedia.  All I know is absinthe is to the current decade what Coors was to the 70s and Krispy Kremes were to the 90s.  End Sidebar.

So how was it?  Have you ever had ouzo?  Yes?  It tastes like that.  No?  Then it tastes like black licorice.  Mmmm….

It’s definitely a sipping drink, one to be savored.  There’s plenty of whallop in there for you to enjoy and I can definitely see where you might end up seeing green unicorns.  Me?  I think the lambic had already taken me to that special place, so the absinthe was sort of lost on me.  It was good, don’t get me wrong.  But ultimately it was a let down.  Much like Coors.

Sufficiently buzzed, I had to call it an early evening with my new friends.  It was definitely a great time, and I highly recommend going out with Dieselboi the next time he suggests a brew crawl.  And I do recommend the absinthe, if only to shut up the cat in the next cube who can’t shut up about the stuff.